Possible Monologues for Charlotte’s Web
Alice in Wonderland
A monologue from the book by Lewis Carroll:
ALICE: [Angrily] Why, how impolite of him. I asked him a civil question, and he pretended not to hear me. That’s not at all nice. [Calling after him] I say, Mr. White Rabbit, where are you going? Hmmm. He won’t answer me. And I do so want to know what he is late for. I wonder if I might
follow him. Why not? There’s no rule that I mayn’t go where I please. I–I will follow him. Wait for me, Mr. White Rabbit. I’m coming, too! [Falling] How curious. I never realized that rabbit holes were so dark . . . and so long . . . and so empty. I believe I have been falling for five minutes, and I
still can’t see the bottom! Hmph! After such a fall as this, I shall think nothing of tumbling downstairs. How brave they’ll all think me at home. Why, I wouldn’t say anything about it even if I fell off the top of the house! I wonder how many miles I’ve fallen by this time. I must be getting
somewhere near the center of the earth. I wonder if I shall fall right through the earth! How funny that would be. Oh, I think I see the bottom. Yes, I’m sure I see the bottom. I shall hit the bottom, hit
it very hard, and oh, how it will hurt.
The Wizard of Oz
written by L. Frank Baum (novel), Noel Langley, Florence Ryerson, and Edgar Allan Woolf:
Dorothy: But it wasn’t a dream. It was a place. And you and you and you…and you were there. But you couldn’t have been could you? No, Aunt Em, this was a real truly live place and I remember some of it wasn’t very nice, but most of it was beautiful–but just the same all I kept saying to everybody was “I want to go home,” and they sent me home! Doesn’t anybody believe me? But
anyway, Toto, we’re home! Home. And this is my room, and you’re all here and I’m not going to leave here ever, ever again. Because I love you all. And… Oh Auntie Em! There’s no place like home!
Book by Thomas Meehan, based on the comic strip Little Orphan Annie by Harold Gray, and the poem “Little Orphan Annie” by James Whitcomb Riley:
Annie: This locket, my mom and dad left it… when they left me at the orphanage. And a note, too. They’re coming back for me. I know I’m real lucky, being here with you for Christmas. But… the one thing I want in all the world… (crying) is to find my mother and father. And to be like other kids, with folks of my own.
Winnie the Pooh
A.A. Milne, Adapted by Kristin Sergel
Pooh: The only reason for being a bee is to make honey. And the only reason for making honey is so I can eat it. Honey… Mmm… Funny, my liking it so much. [He turns the next section into a rather
tuneless song, dancing a step now and then] Isn’t it funny… How a bear likes honey… Buzz, buzz, buzz… I wonder why he does… The question is: How do I get to the honey? First, I’ll have to climb the tree – which will be a problem. And once I get to the top of the tree… if I could just reach one of those branches!
Mrs. Darling: The first time was a week ago – I remember, because it was Nana’s night off. I was sitting there by the fire, and suddenly I felt a draught, as though the window were open. I looked round and I saw that boy – in the room. I screamed. Just then Nana came back and sprang at him at
once. The boy leapt for the window. Nana closed it quickly, but it was too late to catch him.
Roald Dahl, adapted by David Wood
Queen: Oh, Mary! I’ve just had the most frightful dream! It was awful! I. dreamt, Mary, that girls and boys were being snatched out of their beds at boarding-school and were being eaten by the
most ghastly giants! The giants were putting their arms in through the dormitory windows and plucking the children out with their fingers. It was all so… so vivid, Mary. So real.
E.B. White, Adapted by Joseph Robinette
(STUART, a mouse, has received a new pair of ice skates [made out of paperclips, of course] and is trying to decide where best to use them. He is also excited that his bird friend, Margalo, will continue to live with him and his family.)
Stuart: What a day! New ice skates and Margalo is staying. She grows more beautiful each day. I hope she never leaves. Well, there’s nothing like a cold winter day for a little ice skating. (Calling
offstage.) Thanks, Mom! The skates are terrific! Now, where should I go? The boat pond at Central Park is frozen over. Or I could go to that nice little lake… (A dog barks.) Oh, no. If there’s one thing
that bothers me more than a cat, it’s a dog. Where can I hide? Help!
Roald Dahl, adapted by David Wood
BFG: If I hadn’t snitched you, you would be scuddling around yodeling the news on the telly-telly bunkum box that you were actually seeing a giant, and then a great giant hunt, a mighty giant looksee,
would be starting up all over the world, and human beans would be trying to catch me and put me in the zoo with all those squiggling hippodumplings and crocodowndillies.
Excuse me, sir? I have a question. Where are all the dinosaurs in the Garden of Eden? In science class,
this week, we learnt all about fossils and Mr. Williams was saying that some of them are millions of years old! I just can’t quite make sense of the timeline, because if the Bible is right then there should be velociraptors in the Garden of Eden and I think if that’s the case the apple would be the least of their problems! Surely you’d want to build some kind of home defence system with electric fences and guard
rails! Speaking of which: if God really didn’t want them to eat the apple, then why put the tree there? That sounds pretty mean: it’s like putting a T-Rex in a cage and wondering why it chews its own foot off! Detention? I thought we were supposed to turn the other cheek!
No, I’m sorry, Mrs. Jones, I don’t eat that. I only eat hot dogs. You don’t have hot dogs? Oh. Well, maybe
I should go home then. That’s all I eat. Hot dogs for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Sometimes I eat two or
three instead of just one.
My mom says I’ll grow out of it someday. I doubt it. I love hot dogs. My little sister is worse. She only
eats chicken soup. She sticks her pigtails in the soup and sucks it out of her hair. It’s disgusting. Well, tell Jack I’ll see him later. I’ve got to go home and have a few hot dogs. I think it’s a three-hot-dog day,
today. See you later, Mrs. Jones!
I’ve always dreamed of being a hero. I’ve tried everything to become super. I let a spider bite me … no spider powers, just lots of itching. I tried standing too close to the microwave oven hoping the radiation would change me. Nothing. And I got in trouble for making so many bags of popcorn! But I took it all to school and had a popcorn party. I was a hero that day. So I guess it kinda worked? I love being a hero. I love helping people. I love making them happy. And I hate bad guys. I hate creeps
who hurt people. There’s this kid at school … he’s always hurting everyone. I am sick of him hurting us. I
just need those super powers. I need something that will make him stop!
Maybe if I eat more of the school lunches? They look radioactive. If I get enough green hotdogs and
brown sauce in me, something is bound to happen! And I need a catch phrase, like” “Gonna smoosh me a baddie!” And a cool costume! Actually, last time I was in the bathroom, I saw the perfect superhero name. “Protecto!” Instead of a telephone booth like Superman, I could use a bathroom stall and those
Protecto seat covers could be a cape- and I could make a toilet paper mask! Nothing scares bad guys
more than bathroom stuff. (Thinks.) Or maybe it will really make them want to give me a swirly? I better
Charlie & The Chocolate Factory (by Roald Dahl)
I congratulate you, little boy. Well done. You found the fifth Golden Ticket. May I introduce myself: Arthur Slugworth, President of Slugworth Chocolates, Incorporated. Now listen carefully, because I’m
going to make you very rich, indeed. Mr. Wonka is, at this moment, working on a fantastic invention: the
Everlasting Gobstopper. If he succeeds, he’ll ruin me. So all I want you to do is to get a hold of just one
Everlasting Gobstopper and bring it to me so that I can find the secret formula. Your reward will be ten
thousand of these. (He flips through a stack of money.) Think it over, will you? A new house for your family, and good food and comfort for the rest of their lives. And don’t forget the name: Everlasting Gobstopper.
Possible Monologues for The Tempest
Midsummer Night’s Dream: HELENA Call you me “fair?” That “fair” again unsay. Demetrius loves your fair. O happy fair! Your eyes are lodestars, and your tongue’s sweet air More tunable than lark to shepherd’s ear When wheat is green, when hawthorn buds appear. Sickness is catching. Oh, were favor so, Yours would I catch, fair Hermia, ere I go. My ear should catch your voice. My eye, your eye. My tongue should catch your tongue’s sweet melody. Were the world mine, Demetrius being bated, The rest I’d give to be to you translated. O, teach me how you look and with what art You sway the motion of Demetrius’ heart.
HELENA How happy some o’er other some can be!
Through Athens I am thought as fair as she.
But what of that? Demetrius thinks not so;
He will not know what all but he do know;
And as he errs, doting on Hermia’s eyes,
So I, admiring of his qualities.
Things base and vile, holding no quantity,
Love can transpose to form and dignity:
Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind,
And therefore is wing’d Cupid painted blind;
Nor hath Love’s mind of any judgement taste:
Wings, and no eyes, figure unheedy haste:
And therefore is Love said to be a child,
Because in choice he is so oft beguiled.
As waggish boys in game themselves forswear,
So the boy Love is perjured everywhere;
For ere Demetrius look’d on Hermia’s eyne,
He hail’d down oaths that he was only mine;
And when this hail some heat from Hermia felt,
So he dissolved, and showers of oaths did melt.
I will go tell him of fair Hermia’s flight:
Then to the wood will he tomorrow night,
Pursue her; and for this intelligence
If I have thanks, it is a dear expense.
But herein mean I to enrich my pain,
To have his sight thither and back again.
As You Like It: ORLANDO l beseech you, punish me not with your hard thoughts; wherein
l confess me much guilty, to deny so fair and excellent ladies anything. But let your fair eyes and gentle wishes go with me to my
trial: wherein if I be foiled, there is but one shamed that was never gracious; if killed, but one dead that was willing to be so:
l shall do my friends no wrong, for I have none to lament me,
the world no injury, for in it I have nothing: only in the world fill up a place, which may be better supplied when I have made
Love’s Labours Lost BIRON What, I! I love! I sue! I seek a wife!
A woman, that is like a German clock,
Still a-repairing, ever our of frame,
And never going aright, being a watch,
But being warch’d that it may still go right!
Nay, to be perjured, which is worst of all;
And, among three, to love the worst of all;
A whitely wanton with a velvet brow,
With two pitch-balls stuck in her face for eyes;
Ay, and by heaven, one that will do the deed
Though Argus were her eunuch and her guard:
And I to sigh for her! to watch for her!
To pray for her! Go to; it is a plague
That Cupid will impose for my neglect
Of his almighty dreadful little might.
Well, I will love, write, sigh, pray, sue and groan:
Some men must love my lady and some Joan.
Midsummer Night’s Dream PUCK: The king doth keep his revels here to-night:
Take heed the queen come not within his sight;
For Oberon is passing fell and wrath,
Because that she as her attendant hath
A lovely boy, stolen from an Indian king;
She never had so sweet a changeling:
And jealous Oberon would have the child
Knight of his train, to trace the forests wild;
But she perforce withholds the loved boy,
Crowns him with flowers and makes him all her joy:
And now they never meet in grove or green,
By fountain clear, or spangled starlight sheen,
But they do square, that all their elves for fear
Creep into acorn cups and hide them there.
PUCK: Through the forest have I gone.
But Athenian found I none,
On whose eyes I might approve
This flower’s force in stirring love.
Night and silence. – Who is here?
Weeds of Athens he doth wear:
This is he, my master said,
Despised the Athenian maid;
And here the maiden, sleeping sound,
On the dank and dirty ground.
Pretty soul! she durst not lie
Near this lack-love, this kill-courtesy.
Churl, upon thy eyes I throw
All the power this charm doth owe.
When thou wakest, let Jove forbid
Sleep his seat on thy eyelid:
So awake when I am gone;
For I must now to Oberon.